You take the art of pre-gaming to the next level. Loving every second you are with your crew — hold on MAKE SURE YOU GET THIS SIDE OF MY FACE — wait, where was I? Oh. Having such a blast you have to spend your entire time with your face behind a camera, it doesn’t count if no one else on fbook sees it. Woah - feel that? I guess this drink is super strong. Good thing my camera has a drunk mode so we can so totally show how drunk we were. Fuck katie puked on herself again.
One fish, two fish, red fish- sweet mother of god spray tan. Get dolled up girls, you saved up daddy’s money to be here, right girls!?. Make it special, get slizzered with your bottle of Andre and why show your poonani for some strangers’ beads when you brought your own to Vegas! Gentlemen, beware the goody two-shoes in the middle. She’ll warm your drunken heart with conversation, and then give you the most determined handjob you’ve ever seen to top off a special night. If I was a reuffie, I’d go with purple, but the night is young, and it’s gonna be soooo great!
You go girl. Having spent 2+ hours making sure your hair is perfect, you’ve never looked better. You can’t wait to hit the strip and scoff at the catcalls and get trashed off of free gin & tonics. We both know that camera will go missing by the end of the night but like omg there is def some good pictures on there that we will miss. Score one for the home team…we just don’t want to score with you.